From a restaurant’s perspective, the goal is to provide every guest with a great dining experience. Some restaurants may be better at providing that than others, but that is the heart of running a restaurant. A great server will provide high quality service no matter what but that doesn’t mean they aren’t bothered by certain customer behaviors. I can’t speak for every server, everywhere but in my experience, the following five actions are enough to make your waiter/waitress clench their fists and force their smile.

So what should you do, or STOP doing, to make your server’s life a little easier and your experience that much better?

1. Have Some Patience: Obviously slow service is frustrating but there are certain times when a little more patience and understanding is required than others. For example, if you are the only table in the restaurant and your server takes forever to ask for your drink order, by all means, be frustrated. However, if it’s a crazy busy night and you see your server helping a ton of tables, please don’t wave your hands at them and definitely do NOT snap your fingers to get their attention (somebody did this to me once and it was the most disrespectful way to get my attention – especially since I was in the middle of pouring wine at the next table). Be aware of your surroundings. I promise, your waiter/waitress has you on their radar and is working really hard to take care of everybody at each of their tables.
2. Don’t Fake It: News flash – you don’t need to be a wine expert to enjoy dining at a high end restaurant. It’s really easy to tell when somebody is faking it and trying to appear more knowledgeable about certain ingredients and especially wine. If you don’t know what something is, just ask. When it comes to wine, explain to your server what kinds of flavors you like and let them make a recommendation.
3. Don’t Ask What They Do: I could talk about this for days. Does anybody walk into your place of work and ask what you do “for real?” Of course not because that’s super rude! Many servers do MUCH more than “get by” on their income from the restaurant they work in. But no matter what their income may be, it’s incredibly disrespectful to express that you don’t think what they are doing is considered a real job. It’s a real job. A difficult, tiring, very real job.
4. Leave When You’re Done: There are a couple of specific instances when this rule really comes into play. The first is when it’s closing time. If you’ve already paid your bill and are just sitting and chatting long after the kitchen and bar have both closed, all it leads to is a group of several staff members waiting for your conversation to end so that they can go home. A little while is fine of course but sitting for hours is a no-no. Second, if the restaurant is insanely busy and a ton of people are standing around waiting for a table and you’ve already settled the bill, consider moving to the bar.
5. Say Thank You: This one seems like a given but you’d be surprised. It’s just common courtesy, don’t you think? A smile and a “thank you” really go a long way. Especially in times like these where your server is taking a risk to be there for you.

It’s up to your server to give you the best service possible but there are certain things you can do (or avoid) to help make that job a little easier without having any impact on your experience at all.